What’s next?

I’m starting to wonder if Gregor Robertson and his Moonbeam Team at Vision Vancouver are putting us on.

If you missed it the other day, he revealed Vancouver’s surefire answer to traffic gridlock: Walk, people.

Here’s what he said: “Walking is the top priority in the city’s transportation plan, and it’s important that we improve the safety and comfort of our streets and sidewalks for pedestrians.”

And to prove he means it, he reduced the speed limit on Hastings Street on the Downtown Eastside to 30 km/h in order to accommodate the substance-addled jaywalkers who wander into traffic in a determined effort to get to the other side, come what may.

Vancouver police, who must think city hall has been taken over by Martians, oppose the idea because the mayor has effectively endorsed jaywalking. He’s at least levelled the playing field, slowing traffic down to a crawl with a combination of ill-considered bike barricades and reductions in speed limits.

It all fits into the mayor’s scheme to take the city back to a less complicated time when folks grew wheat on the front lawns and raised chickens in the back, walked to the village and ate only home-grown vegetables because that’s all they could get and liked it, dammit.

Nobody ever said Vision Vancouver meant “forward,” did they?

It’s starting to dawn on the good people that the mayor is feverishly constructing a 17th-century theme park formerly known as Vancouver, complete with drunken feast days (e.g., the Stanley Cup, er, event), and they’re freaking out. The most recent poll shows a 14-point drop in Vision popularity. The good old NPA, decimated in the last wave of Gregormania, is undead and breathing down the mayor’s neck.

People who try to be “decent” and “law-abiding,” or at least try to get to work on time are increasingly discouraged by Vision’s callous disregard for their priorities in favour of those who don’t.

No one wants to see drug-addicted or mentally ill people endangered. No one wants cyclists to ride in peril.

But unlike the baby toads that are jay-hopping across the roads en masse in Chilliwack, human traffic has evolved the capacity to work together to ensure we all get there in safety and comfort.

And when the mayor has tunnel vision, he’s no help. We’re all holding our breath waiting for the next breathless Vision. How about chicken crossings on Broadway?

After all, they want to get to the other side, too.