Synopsis

The movie begins the saber-toothed squirrel Scrat’s efforts to protect his only possession — his prized acorn — lead to the great Continental Drift. As the earth shifts, woolly mammoth Manny (Ray Romano), Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) andDiego the smilodon (Dennis Leary) get separated from their families. Their journey to reunite with their kin puts them directly into the path of ape pirate Captain Gutt (Peter Dinklage).  Chris Alexander sits in for Mark Breslin.

•    Richard: 2/5

•    Chris: 2/5

Richard: Chris, I loved the Simpsons short that plays before Ice Age. It’s a funny, gently paced thriller for kids with jokes that parents and film geeks will love. In fact, I wanted more of that and less of Ice Age. The main feature is nicely animated but is saddled with a story so by-the-book it feels like it would have been old hat even in the ice age. That’s my take. You, however, had two of the world’s youngest film critics with you. What did they think?

Chris: Indeed, I brought my sons Jack, 5, and Elliot,3, with me and as you’ll read in the sidebar, they were more impressed than I. Now, I’d watch a movie about lawn darts if it was in 3D, so my eyeballs were pleased by all the razzle dazzle. But other than that … Ice Age left me kinda numb. And here’s my biggest problem with the picture and all of the Ice Age films … Manny the Mammoth…. you can’t see his mouth. He has NO expressions. The dullest animated hero in recent memory.

RC: Manny’s not aided by a lazy script that feels like it was run through the Cliché-O-Matic. The theme — family and friends mean everything -— has been done before and better. Couple that with jokes that come out of nowhere and feel tacked on, and you’re left with a movie that is as lifeless as Manny’s expression.

CA: Absolutely. It also doesn’t help that dead-eyed Manny is voiced by Ray Romano, whose velvet tones remind me of a post-pubescent Kermit the Frog. The rest of the cast phones it in too (maybe literally!), obviously due in part to that sleepy script you’ve mentioned. The only one that registers is Game of Thrones’ Peter Dinklage, who is monstrous and scuzzy as the pirate monkey Caption Gutt.

RC: Agreed. Dinklage is horrifying and scuzzy, in a good way. Also horrifying: they still have 20,000 years of history and sequel potential to go.

CA: Until they end up in space, right? But our gripes won’t stop the kids from dragging their parents to it this weekend.

Children weigh in …

Forget what the crabby adults have to say, Ice Age: Continental Drift is aimed squarely at the kids. My sons — junior film critics Jack,5, and Elliot, 3, — joined Richard and I at a recent screening and had plenty to say about the experience. “I liked the 3D,” said Jack, who usually tosses his glasses out of frustration mid-way through the film. As for little Elliot, at one point during Ice Age’s relentless slapstick shtick, he laughed, shook his head, turned to me and in a voice loud enough that the entire theatre could hear him said “Dad, this is REALLY stupid!” Out of the mouths of babes….