Is it just me or do other guys feel compelled to apologize for Anthony Weiner the wiener?

If I were a woman, I would think Weiner the wiener is the greatest single argument for asexual reproduction ever. I’d rather give birth to spores than have that jerk’s baby.

But it’s too late. His wife of one year, Huma, who is one Hillary Clinton’s closest aides, has been lugging the spawn of Weiner around the world, advising the U.S. secretary of state on matters of global concern while her wiener husband has been sending pictures of his biceps and his John Thomas to ladies he met on the Internet.

Now the U.S. congressman has “taken a leave of absence” from the House of Representatives as he goes into two weeks’ treatment. Meanwhile, his wife and soon-to-be-born child are still out there trying to get Libya under control and fielding the fallout from the stupid husband tricks back home.

Everyone says he should resign. Even Barack Obama says “If I were him, I’d resign.” Weiner the wiener? Thinking about it. This is the guy who not so long ago was touted as the next mayor of New York, the great Democratic Hope. Now, he only qualifies as the great Democratic Dope, following in the footsteps of the legendary Eliot Spitzer, the former great Democratic Dope, who now has his own talk show.

Even Spitzer says Weiner the wiener should resign citing “a flaw in his judgment, in his belief, even up to that point that he could somehow continue to deceive.” Spitzer, also married, secretly cavorted with prostitutes while attorney general — and later governor — of the state of New York. Well, at least he is an expert on flaws in judgment.

Obviously, Weiner is going through the motions of contrition to try to save his sorry buns of steel while waiting for the talk show offers to come through.

If you’re a man, (any kind of a man) when you compare Weiner the wiener with Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who is courageously trying to regain the power of speech after being shot in the head while doing her job, it’s enough to make you turn in the keys to the F-150 and go back to human school.

So if he won’t do the right thing, I will. I apologize to his wife because she seems like a nice person who doesn’t deserve to be married to the biggest (smallest?) wiener on the planet, and I apologize to women everywhere who have to be totally fed up with men who haven’t got a lick of sense yet occupy positions of authority, while they continue to get the short end of the … stick.

Enough, already.