We should get a medal.

On it should be: “I survived Blue Monday.”

If you’re reading this, it’s confirmed: you survived what is held to be the most depressing day of the year.

There’s even a formula for those who don’t automatically buy the idea that the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year. Developed by some helpful guy in Wales, it factors in weather, post-holiday bills, the grim fact that holidays are over, enthusiasm for your new year’s resolution is officially on the wane, and there’s that nagging feeling that if you don’t do something, it’s only going to get worse.

I’d add that for most of the country, the next holiday doesn’t come until April 6, and there’s a long stretch of another-day-older-and-deeper-in-debt until we get there.

So at least you should get a freaking medal.

I spent the most depressing day of the year in a room full of rocket scientists (don’t ask) and by the end of it, I came to the conclusion that I need more RAM. But at least I got to the end of it, and by the time I turned out the light and pulled the covers over my head, I was feeling quite smug: starting tomorrow, there’s nowhere to go but up.

And the same guy who calculated the most depressing day of the year has also determined the happiest day of the year, which this year for some reason is Monday, June 18.

We’re happy on June 18, allegedly, because it’s warm enough to go outside and play; therefore, we’re closer to nature in all its early-summertime glory. We can hang out with friends without being frostbitten and even if we’re miserable creatures we can remember summers long ago when we weren’t. Finally, we’re almost on holiday, which is better than being fresh out of holidays.

It’s all very scientific, except that it isn’t. Some killjoy pointed out that the so-called expert who devised the formula is not, as often billed, a psychologist at the University of Cardiff. Even the not-psychologist admits his calculations are meaningless. But that hasn’t stopped media from picking up the story, thanks to the time-tested tradition of never letting the facts get in the way of a good story.

Surely at this time of the year, we need all the encouragement we can get. And the news that we’ve hit rock bottom and it can only get better is welcome news indeed.

It would be even better if it came with a medal we could wear around our necks … at least until the Easter Bunny finally saves the day.

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