Over the years, we’ve all lived through any number of fads. Whether it was the Cabbage Patch dolls, slap bracelets, eating breakfast at Nellie’s or The Moffatts. Sadly, one of the hottest trends in the world right now seems to be rioting. 

The Vancouver riots started off scary and then quickly turned silly. At the time of writing this column, the London riots were dangerous and incredibly sad. It’s during times like these that I find myself reflecting on how lucky we are to live in peaceful city like Calgary. But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what would it take to start a riot in the house of Nenshi?

For Vancouverites, all it took was losing the Stanley Cup Finals and yet, when the same thing happened to Flames fans a few years back, there wasn’t so much anger as much as there was girls flashing strangers on 17th Avenue. A lot of strangers. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty cool way to protest a hockey game.

So, what would it take?

First, I don’t think this city actually has what it takes to get angry enough to start rioting. Whether it’s because we are simply too nice or that we’re too passive is still up for debate. I honestly think it would simply take us way too long to get our act together.

Calgary is so big that by the time you drove to the Deerfoot or waited for public transportation, the demonstrations would likely already be over or taking a break at the Ship and Anchor. (After all, what argument can’t be settled over a Ship burger?)

Politics seem to be behind most riots, so I guess if we ever did vote for something other than a Conservative majority government, maybe some people in this city would be upset. But I think the riot would quickly lose steam after its organizer, Jason Kenney, decided to not show up.

I think what’s really working against any group interested in “rising up,” more than anything else, is Calgary’s infamous and unpredictable weather. Even the most ideal rioting conditions would be dampened 20 minutes later by hail, rail, snow and lots of wind. Our erratic weather is like a natural pepper spray.

I guess I’m pretty happy that I can’t think of anything that would make this city angry enough to start a riot.  In this day and age, that seems like a pretty great problem to have.

Mike Morrison is the perfectly bald head behind Mike’s Bloggity Blog. He also tweets regularly from @mikesbloggity.