Once upon a time, before Reaganomics, body hair and the Internet, I was an altar boy.
My favourite position was cross-bearer. Although it lacked the glory of carrying incense, and there was almost no chance of quaffing wine, the post had little responsibility and provided me with lots of time to plot hijinks, like always telling the new Peruvian kid Juan to ring the bells at inopportune times.
Not surprisingly, my time in the house of God was short-lived, though I always like to think I attended mass religiously.
Speaking of super fun congregations, have you checked out Altar Boyz yet?
The Arts Club send-up is back at the Revue Stage on Granville Island until September featuring all the members of our favourite Christian boy band: Matthew, Mark, Luke and — wait for it — Juan! (The fifth member is Abraham, who is Jewish.)
This troupe wants to save your soul, lift your spirit and, more importantly, get some laughs.
And the best part? No kneeling!
Altar Boyz stars Jak Barradell, Jeremy Crittenden, Michael Culp, Brandon Eddy and Geoff Stevens. Director is Bill Millerd. Choreographed by Sara-Jeanne Hosie.
Raise the praise, brothers and sisters!
Now can I get an Amen?
Altar Boyz is on now at the Revue Stage until Sept. 1. Tickets are $29 and $49, inclusive of taxes and fees. Visit ArtsClub.com for more information.
• It’s a doggy dog world. Dust off your diamond and ruby-studded chalice because Snoop Dogg is performing at the Commodore Ballroom Friday night. Late show is sold out but, at last report, tickets still available for the early gig. Tickets $59.50 at LiveNation.com.
• Forever in blue jeans. Money talks. But it can’t sing and dance and it can’t walk. Neil Diamond, however, can do all these things. He’s making the ladies swoon at Rogers Arena Saturday night. Tickets $19.99 to $149, through LiveNation.com.