A diehard city slicker, I’ve been camping exactly once in my life. And it was a disaster.

My mind has blocked much of the painful memory, so I can’t remember why I agreed to go camping on an island accessible only by a 10-minute motorboat ride.

For three days, I didn’t shower. I brushed my teeth with bottled water, ate only granola bars, slopped new layers of insect repellent and sunscreen over the old and learned to pee in the bushes. When I finally showered upon my return, the water that flowed down the drain — I kid you not — ran black.

I still shudder at how dirty I got, but lately I’ve been thinking about giving camping a second chance. And who better to ask for advice than a professional outdoorsman?

Ottawa’s Bob Abrames spends most of his summers living as people did 300 years ago. That means up to 100 days of surviving on salt pork (ick), no tents, no showers, no bug spray and no toothbrushes.
A rabid fan of dental hygiene, I recoiled in horror.

“I use baking soda on my finger to clean my teeth,” said Abrames. “It’s a long way from a toothbrush but it changes the taste a little bit.”

That’s not the worst of it. He also goes without toilet paper. This time, I gasp audibly. I love toilet paper. To me, it’s such a necessity that I don’t even bother taking it for granted.

But for Abrames, roughing it means celebrating nature.

“Life today has become extremely complicated, extremely fast and extremely technical. Getting back into the bush brings you back to what life’s about.”

With camping, you can be as extreme or conservative as you want. There are ways of spending time outdoors, while also enjoying a few comforts of home. The most important thing is just to get out there, he said.

A flashlight, a cell phone for emergencies, a first-aid kit, “the best poncho you can buy,” and modern freeze-dried foods are camping musts.

But you have to count on some hardships. When it comes to answering the call of nature in nature, for example, it’s just not going to be pretty.

Abrames suggests carrying a trowel “to dig a hole for your business. It decomposes very quickly.”
The most admirable thing about Abrames is what he gives up to rough it. When not in the bush, he lives a comfortable, cell-phone using existence in a downtown condo. I’m sure it’s not easy leaving that behind. Still, he misses very little.

“I miss pizza,” he said. “And the first thing I do when I get back is brush my teeth — it’s very high on the list.

“It’s the simple pleasures in life that make you appreciate what you have.”