Today in our series on Prepping for the Holidays: Planning Ahead

Everyone knows that the key to a successful event is planning ahead. That and ignoring any person who says, “Let’s do a 1980′s fashion theme again.”

When it comes to the holidays, I am a believer in making careful, early plans. I don’t actually do it, but I’m a great believer in it. Usually, my holiday shopping plans go like this:

August: This year, will plan ahead. Make list. Buy lovely thoughtful gifts for my two sisters and hide them away. Feel smug. Ignore gift list for the rest of month.

September: Cannot find list. Make new one. Nephews want Turbo Ranger dolls at $44.95 each. Decide to wait till they go on sale. Buy lovely thoughtful gifts for my two sisters. Remember I already got them something. Damn. Could possibly give it to newspaper delivery man. Wonder if he likes ‘cinnamon mist’ body spray. Need to regroup. Abandon shopping efforts.

October: Determined to start immediately. At first store, buy Halloween candy and decorations. Enough shopping. Have coffee. Go home.

November: Really serious now. March into store and buy lovely, thoughtful gifts for my two sisters. Damn. Wonder if free sample that came with make-up purchase can be given to best friend without her knowing. Break down and decide to purchase Turbo-Rangers. Stores are sold out. Company spent so much on advertising they could only afford to make six. Believe clerk who says, “We’re getting more next week.” Buy Christmas cards. Delighted to have finally accomplished something.

Early December: Have become source of entertainment to toy store clerks, “Hey Joey! This woman wants to know if we have any Turbo-Rangers left!” Cannot mail cards because have not put personal, hand-written note in each yet.

Mid-December: Hate everyone on list. Would pay almost anything for Turbo-Ranger doll but not the $300 being asked for on eBay. Consider becoming Eastern Orthodox to gain two more weeks of Christmas prep time.

Late December: Will buy anything for anyone. See everything as potential gift. “Hmmm… masking tape. Maybe my mother would like masking tape.” Have completely forgotten where I hid gifts bought in August. Pour myself large rum and eggnog, sans eggnog, and try to forget.

Christmas Day: Everyone loves everything. Such joy to give gifts to people I love. Vow to address and mail cards ASAP. And next year, I’ll start much earlier.