I recently found out that my long-term girlfriend had been cheating on me. Obviously I was upset, but I’m not sure what to do with that information, as I have been involved with another girl on the side for some time as well. Aside from the mutual infidelities, the relationship between us is great. What the heck do I do now?
- Cheating cheater

Andrea: Dear Cheated Cheater,

Is it cheating if you’re open about it? Not really.

If anything, I see the situation as being positive in a twisted way: you have more in common than you thought!

If you don’t like the idea of your girl acting just like you, then take a moment to re-evaluate your behaviour.

What are you hoping to get out of your relationship? I’ll take a guess that it isn’t commitment or even honesty.

It could be love, however. You may just have to define what that means to you, and for her.

This whole situation is a wake up call for you to decide who you want to be, as a person and a lover.

And yes, tell her.

Claire: Dear Cheated Cheater,

What on earth are you doing together? You sound like you’re both using each other as human security blankets – there for each other when and if the games on the side don’t work out.

No matter how Hollywood your relationship sounds, it’s not cool.

You are not Marc and she is not J.Lo, nor are you Demi and Ashton. Tell her the truth.

Maybe it will give you both a small chance of starting something healthy and strong.

If not, you can both save that energy you use sneaking around to build something healthy with someone else.

Two sisters, 20-something Andrea  and 30-something Claire, offer their differing views on your relationship issues.